Hot Potato

Do you remember playing the game ‘Hot Potato’ as a child?  You know, people would throw a bean bag, deemed The Hot Potato, and you would pass it off as fast as you could so you would not to be left holding that Hot Potato! 

We still play Hot Potato today when it comes to gossip.  Why do we continue to pass the Hot Potato from one friend to another, email the news through an eblast to everyone in our address book, and comment on the gossip to reply all? 

Why do we listen to gossip?  We love to hear the dirt on someone else and watch them crash and burn.  Somehow that makes our own personal, pitiful little life not see so bad after all.

Mary Abbajay, a consultant for professional and organizational development writes this:

The act of active listening actually supports and promotes gossiping. The more you listen, the more you encourage it. If you don’t listen, the gossip has nowhere to do. Think about the last time you told a story to someone who was clearly not interested. The story probably withered on the vine.
Here’s how to get out of the gossip pipeline:

1. Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you're preoccupied with your work, you can't be available to listen to their latest story.
2. Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don't pass it any further. Take personal responsibility to act with integrity.
3. Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn't nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it's spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked
4. Avoid the gossiper. If you notice one person who consistently makes trouble, take the necessary actions to have as little interaction with that person as possible. Avoid him/her.
5. Keep your private life private. Don't trust personal information with coworkers. Remember, if they are gossiping about others, they will gossip about you, too. Don't give them ammunition.
6. Choose your friends wisely at work. You spend a good deal of time at work so it's natural for friendships to develop. Share information sparingly until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust. Also, close association with gossipers will give the perception that you are a gossiper.
7. Be direct. If you confront the gossiper and confidently tell him or her that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers, it's likely to stop.
8. Don't be afraid to go to a superior. Gossiping wastes a lot of company time and hurts morale. A company interested in a healthy work environment will value the opportunity to correct this type of situation.